been a while since i blogged. thought i'd better post something before i lose my already-very-small base of readers completely.
it's 2 more weeks before i finally kiss goodbye to civil service after 6 years of trying to convince myself that i would be happy being in this conventional, boring job. becos of my impending departure from the job, people have been coming forth to tell me how lucky i am, how much they hate their jobs but are not able to leave to do what they want. most of my colleagues are government scholars, you see, contractually bound to serve a 6-year bond with the civil service. i would think people who are unsatisfied must be those whose work/talent/skills are not recognised by their bosses, who see little potential in advancing far in their careers in the civil service. But over drinks one night, someone, who is well-liked by the bosses and doing very well, told me that she thinks the job is meaningless and wished she can leave and move into the arts industry.
the ARTS?? in Singapore?? i said there's no money in the arts. esp in Singapore. which was what an architect friend told me point blank when i said i was interested in studying design - "don't go into arts/architecture/design." but i headed in anyways, to do a degree in landscape architecture. now i find myself telling others the same thing, don't go into the arts. i think it is something to do with the moth mentality, knowing that you'll get burned by the fire but can't help getting drawn into it and you want to warn everyone else not to get into it.
but i don't regret it, really. the many sleepless nights, tearing the hair out when there's no inspiration, working on tight deadlines. it is all worth it when i produce work that i m satisfied with and that is appreciated. when people ask me what are my plans after i complete the degree, i say, i don't know. there's a realist in me that tells me i can't live without bread & butter. i can't go on forever working over sleepless nights if it doesnt put money on the table. I will just enjoy my studies for now and decide which step to take next when the time comes.
anyways, i don't know why so many people have been asking me what are my plans after my work contract ends. i wonder if it is a singaporean thing, to probe into other people's personal life. questions like, why wasnt my contract renewed, so what do i plan to do after my contract ends, when am i searching for another job, blah blah blah... it bores me talking about it and i didnt think it necessary for anyone to know what my plans are anyways, cos really, it is my life and i live it the way i want it.
